We don't know about you, but when we buy a music CD we consider it a friendly invitation for complete strangers to come in and make our computer their personal playground. Install hidden software that hijacks basic components of our system? Open us to attack from viruses and hackers? Sounds perfect!

Fortunately Sony BMG is dedicated to making customers' dreams come true by producing CDs which, well, technically aren't—but provide hours of destabilizing entertainment. Remember—only pirates and communists believe in having control over their personal property.